Celebrity Apprentice: Osama bin Laden… you’re fired
By Collin Kelley
It wasn’t a very good weekend for Donald Trump. President Obama made The Donald look like a moron at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on Saturday night over the whole birth certificate lunacy and last night, just at Trump was about to fire one of the women from team ASAP on Celebrity Apprentice, news broke that Osama bin Laden had been killed by American forces. To quote the always quotable NeNe Leakes: Bam, bloop, where’s your Barbara Walters now?!
The west coast did get to see the end of the episode and Playboy playmate, Star Jones’ minion and nearly mute Hope Dworaczyk got the can. But not before NeNe unleashed some pent up rage at Star and The Donald did something that’s never been done in 11 seasons – he brought back someone who had been fired for a second chance.
The episode began with NeNe vowing to find a way to “f-ck up Star’s game” after feeling manipulated over last week’s firing of La Toya Jackson. The task this week was to create a hair show for Farouk products. Team ASAP, once again, thought they had this in the bag, but never underestimate three straight men who are feeling cocky again after two wins in a row.
When it came time to pick a project manager, Star talked Hope and Marlee into making NeNe project manager and NeNe wasn’t happy. At all. During the meeting with the Farouk people, NeNe unloaded both barrels on Star. A selection of quotes: “Who died and put you in charge of project managers? I will take you down! You pressed the last button in me, Star Jones! Bring your street game! Where’s Ms. Barbara Walters now?!”
Star seemed genuinely stunned and tried to move away from NeNe, while everyone else – including The Donald – looked very uncomfortable. After the verbal assault on Star, NeNe announced that her charity money was going to domestic abuse victims. Oh, the irony!
In her defense, Star said she was “bound and determined to show how an educated black woman handles stress.” NeNe’s retort was to call Star a “crunk ass bitch.” Classy!
The guys on team Backbone smelled blood in the water and decided to stick the knife in a little deeper by calling on fired ASAP member Niki Taylor to be one of the models in their hair show.
Over at ASAP, good editing made it look like the ladies had put their differences aside to complete the task. “We started off bumpy,” NeNe said. Understatement of the year. Star said she heard a little voice telling her to let NeNe sink, but she was too much of a professional to let down her team. Insert eye roll here. NeNe might be a little crazy, but she is absolutely right about Star.
In the middle of the drama, La Toya Jackson came to see The Donald to ask for her job back, saying she didn’t deserve to be fired. “Star Jones is out to sabotage everyone. I want to come back and show my strength,” Toy said. Trump said he’d think about is and made a sleazy comment about Toy’s tight pants as she was leaving his office. Ugh.
Things were going so well in team ASAP’s war room, then NeNe started getting suspicious. “Star is an evil fat lady. You might have lost weight on the outside, but your brain is still fat. Something is going on. If we lose, the boardroom is going to be on fire.”
When the actual hair shows were presented to the Farouk execs, it looked like the women had made a slum dunk. Meat Loaf admitted that Backbone’s show “started dead.” More clever editing, because in the end, the Farouk people thought Backbone did a better job.
As promised, NeNe did not hold back in the boardroom. She called Hope a puppet, said Star’s reputation was terrible and that Star was vicious, underhanded, had no interest in being friends with her teammates or supporting anyone other than herself.
The Donald threw his curve ball when he had La Toya come into the boardroom and announced she was back on the show as a member of team Backbone. Trump then asked Toy who he should fire and she said Star without hesitation. “Star is backstabbing and manipulative,” La Toya said, while NeNe nodded vigorously in agreement.
When The Donald asked NeNe who he should fire, she smartly said Hope. “Hope is weak. She is Star’s intern. Star will eat Hope next week if you fire me tonight, because that’s all part of her strategy.” NeNe knew there was no way Trump was going to fire Star. He likes Star and the producers like the ratings.
The Donald started grilling Hope about flying under the radar, not being a strong player and….
That’s when NBC broke in to announce President Obama would make a statement about the death of Osama bin Laden. If you need to see that last 10 or 12 minutes to make your life complete, you can watch the episode again at NBC.com.