Real Housewives of Atlanta: Eye-poking and rolling
By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler
Okay, this might date us a wee bit, but remember on Real World when cast members got kicked off the show or had to go to anger-management classes if they threatened or assaulted another cast member? What happened to that rule? Of course, we guess The Jersey Shore wouldn’t exist if the no violence rule was still important to reality show producers (Read our interview with one in the February edition of Atlanta INtown). Maybe Kim and NeNe feel the need to compete with the likes of Snooki because even Bravo has dubbed their tour bus fight as “sticks and stones and strangling.” There’s no stopping the bad vibes as Kim, NeNe and the gang blow into Miami with hurricane force.
NeNe should have been a singer because the woman has amazing lung-capacity. And clearly she loves the spotlight enough to fight for it. Was it the editing, or did she literally yell at Kim all the way from Orlando to Miami without even stopping for a breath because that’s what it seemed like. When the dueling divas and their tour bus pull up to the estate of Kim’s friend Thomas Kramer, two really crazy things happen – we see Phaedra and Shereé provide calm and reason (??!!), and the ladies find themselves in a house that’s even more over the top and eccentric than they are.
The Kim and NeNe drama continues, and we have to wonder what flipped the switch so completely with NeNe. Is it run of the mill jealousy over the attention Kim has gotten on the tour? A medication change of some kind? Whatever it is, NeNe can’t seem to tell the other ladies enough bad things about Kim but then states she wants to stay at a hotel because she needs her “peace” (Insert pulling-needle-off-record-scratch sound effect here). The tension continues into dinner, and we’ve never seen Atlanta’s Housewives look so tired and unfabulous. Cynthia is obviously overwhelmed by her upcoming wedding, and this is not the relaxing get-away she was looking for.
The ladies have a full schedule in Miami, with Kim and Kandi’s final tour performance and Cynthia’s bathing suit fashion show and runway walk. Kim takes to the stage first and gives her best performance to date, though unfortunately, in her worst outfit. Kandi’s usual best ends the tour, and then the ladies attend Cynthia’s fashion show to check out her fierce walk for themselves. We thought Cynthia looked great on the runway, but the mean girl really came out in most of the other housewives. This seemed particularly cutting, given that they’re supposed to be at a girls’ weekend to celebrate her.
Cynthia obviously has a lot more going on than everyone knows. The other housewives are caught off guard when she bursts into tears at lunch, prompted by benign questions about her wedding and honeymoon plans. Cynthia’s been closely guarded about her stress and financial issues surrounding the wedding. And the one person who should be trying to help her – NeNe – is instead, only trying to help herself.
Our mouths continued to hang open at NeNe’s behavior and lack of any ability to stop everything in her head from coming out of her mouth. We’re not sure why NeNe is making such a big deal out of who invited whom to the girls’ weekend. Cynthia, what does the friendship contract say about inviting other people to your bachelorette weekend? Especially when you’re having a much-merited pre-wedding meltdown? Maybe if NeNe behaved less selfishly and could take the crazy down a few notches, she’d already have friends in attendance she could enjoy spending time with instead of having to import allies like Diana.
Despite, NeNe’s efforts to talk Cynthia into cutting the trip short, the bachelorette party is saved by a combination of margaritas, Lawrence Washington as the ultimate Atlanta Housewives impersonator and strippers provided by Phaedra. Yeah. You read it correctly. Strippers provided by Phaedra, who in a roundabout way is connected to them through her work. She is an entertainment attorney after all, and that apparently runs the spectrum from celebrities like Bobby Brown to those who have even less family appeal. Phaedra showed herself to be charming and fun to be around, which was sometimes as surprising as some of NeNe’s antics. Actually, the rest of the housewives are beginning to seem full of common sense and conscientiousness. We guess they have NeNe to thank for that. For now.